Al-Thakla—Arabic as the Original Mourner

Hazem Harb, "Thorns N 1," UV print layered upon acrylic inside plexiglass, 200x160 cm, 2022 (courtesy Tabari Artspace).

3 MARCH 2024 • By Abdelrahman ElGendy
I recognize the pattern: when I reach for Arabic, I reach for radical love. When I reach for English, I reach for currency…

 

Abdelrahman ElGendy

 

How do you hold your grief in a language that’s been its main perpetrator? 

Since October, something has fractured inside me. I’ve been attempting to write into the fracture. English, time and again, fails me. To my ears, its sounds have become linked to the daily degradation of my people: human animals, wasps and insects, savages, barbaric—a list which grows longer by the day. Suffocated, I find myself rushing to Arabic. 

A few weeks ago, I stood on a stage in Kansas City at an offsite reading for Palestine at the 2024 AWP conference. I recited the poem, أُعيذُكِ, by martyred Palestinian poet, Heba Abu Nada. I had a compulsive urge to read the original Arabic poem following its English translation; it didn’t matter if no one in the audience understood. I needed to recite the grief in the language in which it had first been uttered. 

Translation frustrates me. Languages evolve to birth specific terms, encapsulating values, history, and the sociopolitical milieu, meeting the growing expressive needs of their speakers. My chest tightens each time I wish to write dhulm and instead pen down “injustice.” How flat it falls: an in-justice, no justice, a mere absence of. It falls short of dhulm’s intentional harm, a harm that occurs not because justice is passively negated, but because the world bands together to actively inflict it on you, you by name, like a missile signed by a human hand before it buries you under the rubble of your home. A deliberate evil that, in Arabic, merits a word of its own. 

And the music, the music. In the English translation of Heba’s poem, “I shield the oranges from the sting of phosphorous” cannot capture the elegant syntactical play in the Arabic faqad h’awwattu bil sabe’il mathani, minal fosfori ta’amal burtuqali, how the object dangles by the oranges at the end of the sentence, hinted at by a fath’a on the meem of “taste.” How “I grant you refuge” coalesces into a potent invocation, Ou’ithoki. How the damma on the hamza shifts the action’s recipient, the kaaf object gently kissing the dhal, with a kasra beneath revealing the gender. There is a reason we say in Arabic that one tastes, not reads, poetry. A language that melts on the tongue calls to be savored.


Arabic itself has become a thakla: the original mourner. The mother of boundless loss. It carries not only its unique blend of melodies and choreography but also our manifold histories.


Even the Western middle finger cannot convey my rage. A single upright finger feels too docile to suffice. In Egypt, we thrust every finger up except for the middle one, take aim, then shoot the middle forward like an arrow. This small but gratifying act of fury eludes me today. To convey my anger, I’m forced to adopt the more subdued, universally recognized gesture. Even in a middle finger, something is lost in translation.

At the same Kansas City conference, I listened to Egyptian author Noor Naga talk about her experience traveling between the West and Cairo over the past few months. Whenever she arrives at a Western airport, she tenses up for another round of fighting about to resume as she reenters this world where we must claw and yell to keep Palestine human and alive. In Cairo, on the other hand, she said one could feel the grief suspended in the air — no one talks about it, but everyone holds it. 

As I listened, I recalled how we have witnessed on our screens countless Palestinian mothers in Gaza cradling the torn limbs of their children. From tens, to hundreds, to thousands, and then to tens of thousands. One moment, a mother; the next, a thakla. 

Thakla also has no equivalent noun in English. What does it mean to have a distinct word to describe a mother in agony over the untimely loss of a child? It reminds me of an old Arabic saying: Laysatil na’ihatul thakla kal na’ihatil musta’ajara. The wailing of a hired mourner is incomparable [in grief] to the wailing of a bereaved mother, a thakla. 

The saying echoes in my mind as I think about what Noor said: what makes a grief hush, or blare? And it strikes me — this is Arabic. Arabic itself has become a thakla: the original mourner. The mother of boundless loss. It carries not only its unique blend of melodies and choreography but also our manifold histories. The screams of Mat el walad! Mat el walad! as Israeli bullets shattered the body of a boy, Mohamed Al-Durrah, in his father’s embrace during the Second Intifada, awakening my entire Arab generation to the Palestinian cause; humming kan shayil alwanu, kan rayih’ madrastu on the bus ride to school with a lump in my throat; the tunes of  Al-Hulm Al-Arabi through Baba’s dusty car cassette; the gruff lyrics of Ya Falstiniya softened by the oud strums of Sheikh Imam; Fayrouz’s Zahrat Al-Mada’en, both an alarm and a lullaby; Shireen Abu Akleh’s voice seeping through our TV speakers; and my chants for Palestine post our January 2011 revolution, when we believed the Arab Spring would usher in a third mass Intifada and the end of occupation.

I recognize the pattern: when I reach for Arabic, I reach for radical love. When I reach for English, I reach for currency. English crumbles between my fingers because it’s a vessel I borrow to render my rage and grief legible to, and therefore shareable with, the world. Arabic, however, thrums like a disrobed nerve — raw, electric, primal.

We don’t need to articulate grief because the language itself, in all its dialects, grieves. Like an ill-sutured wound, it bursts open at the slightest tug, and the letters bleed tales, ballads, poems, hums, and defeats with every sabah el-kheir or keyfak?

Arab American writers born and raised in exile yearn for a heritage from which they have been severed, and try to reckon with the imperial core they inhabit. They seek to write their way back to the lost homeland. And I wonder: What does that make of me? I, who voluntarily adopted the tongue of this white supremacist Western hegemony? Why am I here? Why do I abandon the Arabic abundance I’ve been born into?

I tell myself: You have no choice, because in your struggle, your oppressors’ linguistic systems hold the most political power. The empire’s words alone can strip it naked before its own subjects. English does not give me a seat at the table, nor do I want it to. English offers me the chance to point at the table, to name its occupants. It allows my naming to be heard. 

I tell myself all this, but it doesn’t stop English vowels, at the end of each day, from rolling heavily off my tongue, like a betrayal.

I’ve always asked myself if I can afford not to write in English. Today, Palestine pushed me to question how much longer I can afford to write in English.

As always, I don’t have solutions; I essay, approximate, speak into. A flame licked my flesh, and the flesh of my Arab kin, and we’ll never be the same. As I attempt to rise from the ashes, I reconcile by vowing, in my days to come, to subvert the empire’s language. To infuse it with shards before it departs my fingers. To wield it, shuffle its syntax and manipulate its diction, carving into its walls my incantations of liberation. To plant my utterances with seeds of cardamom, so as my executors consume my reproduction of their tongue, they bite into the sting.

When the weight of the empire in my throat wears me down, I run to Arabic, gargle its melodies. The thakla cradles the grief we know and bear together, and I breathe, at last held. When I scream Free Palestine at a rally, and my insides twist, aching to roar it in Arabic, sometimes I find camaraderie in a glimpse of a middle finger in the crowd, not raised — launched. 

 

Abdelrahman ElGendy

Abdelrahman ElGendy Abdelrahman ElGendy is an Egyptian writer and translator from Cairo. His work appears or is forthcoming in The Washington Post, Foreign Policy, The Nation, Guernica, Mizna, and elsewhere. His poetry and prose translations from Arabic appear or are forthcoming in Poetry... Read more

Join Our Community

TMR exists thanks to its readers and supporters. By sharing our stories and celebrating cultural pluralism, we aim to counter racism, xenophobia, and exclusion with knowledge, empathy, and artistic expression.

Learn more

RELATED

Essays

When the Wound Sings: Israelis Quote Poet Yahia Lababidi

18 JULY 2025 • By Yahia Lababidi
When the Wound Sings: Israelis Quote Poet Yahia Lababidi
Book Reviews

Memoricide Voided by Four Palestinian Women Diarists

4 JULY 2025 • By Francesca Vawdrey
Memoricide Voided by Four Palestinian Women Diarists
Essays

Doaa: From a Dreamworld to the Ashes of Displacement

30 MAY 2025 • By Taqwa Ahmed Al-Wawi
Doaa: From a Dreamworld to the Ashes of Displacement
Interviews

23 Hours Inside State Dept. Press Briefings on the Gaza Genocide

23 MAY 2025 • By Malu Halasa
23 Hours Inside State Dept. Press Briefings on the Gaza Genocide
Cities

Heartbreak and Commemoration in Beirut’s Southern Suburbs

7 MARCH 2025 • By Sabah Haider
Heartbreak and Commemoration in Beirut’s Southern Suburbs
Book Reviews

No Place to Be: On Wadih Saadeh’s A Horse at the Door

24 JANUARY 2025 • By Alex Tan
No Place to Be: On Wadih Saadeh’s <em>A Horse at the Door</em>
Essays

Beirut War Diary: 8 Days in October

22 NOVEMBER 2024 • By Rima Rantisi
Beirut War Diary: 8 Days in October
Essays

Shamrocks & Watermelons: Palestine Politics in Belfast

4 OCTOBER 2024 • By Stuart Bailie
Shamrocks & Watermelons: Palestine Politics in Belfast
Book Reviews

The Queer Arab Glossary —A Review

27 SEPTEMBER 2024 • By Bahi Ghubril
<em>The Queer Arab Glossary </em>—A Review
Fiction

“Dear Sniper” —a short story by Ali Ramthan Hussein

6 SEPTEMBER 2024 • By Ali Ramthan Hussein, Essam M. Al-Jassim
“Dear Sniper” —a short story by Ali Ramthan Hussein
Book Reviews

Birth in a Poem: Maram Al-Masri’s The Abduction

23 AUGUST 2024 • By Eman Quotah
Birth in a Poem: Maram Al-Masri’s <em>The Abduction</em>
Essays

Genocide

17 MAY 2024 • By Jenine Abboushi
Genocide
Art

Malak Mattar: No Words, Only Scenes of Ruin

26 APRIL 2024 • By Nadine Nour el Din
Malak Mattar: No Words, Only Scenes of Ruin
Opinion

Equating Critique of Israel with Antisemitism, US Academics are Being Silenced

12 APRIL 2024 • By Maura Finkelstein
Equating Critique of Israel with Antisemitism, US Academics are Being Silenced
Essays

Israeli & Palestinian Filmmakers Accused of Anti-semitism at Berlinale

11 MARCH 2024 • By Viola Shafik
Israeli & Palestinian Filmmakers Accused of Anti-semitism at Berlinale
Essays

Human Rights Films on Ownership of History, Women’s Bodies & Paintings

11 MARCH 2024 • By Malu Halasa
Human Rights Films on Ownership of History, Women’s Bodies & Paintings
Centerpiece

Al-Thakla—Arabic as the Original Mourner

3 MARCH 2024 • By Abdelrahman ElGendy
Al-Thakla—Arabic as the Original Mourner
Essays

The Time of Monsters

3 MARCH 2024 • By Layla AlAmmar
The Time of Monsters
Essays

Israel’s Environmental and Economic Warfare on Lebanon

3 MARCH 2024 • By Michelle Eid
Israel’s Environmental and Economic Warfare on Lebanon
Essays

The Story of the Keffiyeh

3 MARCH 2024 • By Rajrupa Das
The Story of the Keffiyeh
Essays

A Treatise on Love

4 FEBRUARY 2024 • By Maryam Haidari, Salar Abdoh
A Treatise on Love
Fiction

“New Reasons”—a short story by Samira Azzam

15 JANUARY 2024 • By Samira Azzam, Ranya Abdelrahman
“New Reasons”—a short story by Samira Azzam
Essays

Jesus Was Palestinian, But Bethlehem Suspends Christmas

25 DECEMBER 2023 • By Ahmed Twaij
Jesus Was Palestinian, But Bethlehem Suspends Christmas
Columns

A Student’s Tribute to Refaat Alareer, Gaza’s Beloved Storyteller

18 DECEMBER 2023 • By Yousef M. Aljamal
A Student’s Tribute to Refaat Alareer, Gaza’s Beloved Storyteller
Columns

Messages from Gaza Now / 2

18 DECEMBER 2023 • By Hossam Madhoun
Messages from Gaza Now / 2
Fiction

“Twelve Angels”—fiction from Ahmed Salah Al-Mahdi

3 DECEMBER 2023 • By Ahmed Salah Al-Mahdi, Rana Asfour
“Twelve Angels”—fiction from Ahmed Salah Al-Mahdi
Books

Huda Fakhreddine’s A Brief Time Under a Different Sun

3 DECEMBER 2023 • By Huda Fakhreddine, Rana Asfour
Huda Fakhreddine’s <em>A Brief Time Under a Different Sun</em>
Columns

The Day My Life Ended, It Began

3 DECEMBER 2023 • By Karim Shamshi-Basha
The Day My Life Ended, It Began
Theatre

Hartaqât: Heresies of a World with Policed Borders

9 OCTOBER 2023 • By Nada Ghosn
<em>Hartaqât</em>: Heresies of a World with Policed Borders
Essays

London Cemeteries: And Now It Is Death

3 SEPTEMBER 2023 • By Selma Dabbagh
London Cemeteries: And Now It Is Death

2 thoughts on “Al-Thakla—Arabic as the Original Mourner”

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

eighteen + 8 =

Scroll to Top