{"id":9902,"date":"2022-09-05T10:55:09","date_gmt":"2022-09-05T08:55:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldsite\/?p=9902"},"modified":"2023-01-22T16:31:12","modified_gmt":"2023-01-22T14:31:12","slug":"after-marriage-single-arab-american-woman-looks-for-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldsite\/after-marriage-single-arab-american-woman-looks-for-love\/","title":{"rendered":"After Marriage, Single Arab American Woman Looks for Love"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>Why an Author Writes to a Guy Holding a Fish<\/em>, Laila Halaby<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/2leafpress.org\/online\/product\/why-an-author-writes-to-a-guy-holding-a-fish\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">2Leaf Press<\/a>, 2022<br \/>\nISBN 9781737446538<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4>Eman Quotah<\/h4>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>At my college, one creative writing professor challenged students to write happy love poems, an assignment everyone griped about. Apparently, writing about good love, love that goes well and ends well, doesn\u2019t come easy for most poets.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_9903\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-9903\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/2leafpress.org\/online\/product\/why-an-author-writes-to-a-guy-holding-a-fish\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-9903\" src=\"https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldsite\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/laila-halaby-why-an-author-writes-to-a-guy-holding-a-fish-poems-9781737446538.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"785\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldsite\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/laila-halaby-why-an-author-writes-to-a-guy-holding-a-fish-poems-9781737446538.jpg 637w, https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldsite\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/laila-halaby-why-an-author-writes-to-a-guy-holding-a-fish-poems-9781737446538-600x942.jpg 600w, https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldsite\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/laila-halaby-why-an-author-writes-to-a-guy-holding-a-fish-poems-9781737446538-191x300.jpg 191w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-9903\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Artist Laila Shawa&#8217;s painting is featured on the cover.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Unlucky-at-love-and-dating tales, on the other hand, are part of the fabric of modern U.S. culture \u2014 the basis for many a book, short story, movie, TV show, song, blog post, memoir, essay, standup routine, poem, and tweet thread. The growth of online dating over the past few decades has only heightened both the comic and tragic potential of dating stories \u2014 or so I hear. I\u2019m a serial monogamist who\u2019s been married for more than 15 years. How would I have any idea?<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s the state of knowledge poet Laila Halaby found herself in more than a decade ago when her marriage of nearly 20 years ended. In her new poetry collection, <em>Why an Author Writes to a Guy Holding a Fish<\/em>, Halaby relates her experiences dating American men after being married to a fellow Arab. The result is a sort of rom-com in verse \u2014 though without a traditional happy ending \u2014 and the type of story an American woman of Arab heritage, such as Halaby, never (or rarely) gets to star in on page or screen.<\/p>\n<p>At the start of the collection, when her husband leaves, Halaby is uprooted, like the twisted acacia tree in her front yard.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 80px;\">the night<br \/>\nbefore my husband moved out for good<br \/>\nhe took some things<br \/>\nto his new apartment<br \/>\nwhile a fierce storm hurtled itself<br \/>\nthrough our neighborhood<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 80px;\">violent winds<br \/>\nthrew trash cans for blocks<br \/>\nripped bushes out of the ground<br \/>\nknocked trees into houses<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 80px;\">my older son looked out the window<br \/>\nsobbed at the sight of our crazy tree<br \/>\nlying stretched across the front path<br \/>\nas though it had gotten tired<br \/>\nof waiting for his father<\/p>\n<p>Freed of the cultural expectations placed on her younger self \u2014 she never spells them out, but self-policed sexuality, limited dating, and marrying on the young side seem likely to me, a woman with an ethnic background similar to Halaby\u2019s \u2014 and having escaped a loveless marriage, Halaby finds herself in a foreign land. In the title poem, she writes:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 80px;\">online dating<br \/>\nin America<br \/>\nin your forties<br \/>\nafter a lifetime<br \/>\nof Middle Eastern sensibility<br \/>\nand almost 20 years of marriage<br \/>\nrequires resolve<br \/>\npatience<br \/>\nand some cross-cultural understanding<\/p>\n<p>Already someone who falls in love easily with people she meets, but never acted on it because she was a faithful wife, now she\u2019s putting her picture online, meeting men in coffee shops and restaurants, and falling head over heels. Halaby encounters nice guys, racists, rich guys, and cheaters, and she begins to understand herself a little more. As a married woman, she\u2019d \u201cbe smitten\/fall into possibility \u2026 love was everywhere\/except in my home.\u201d But now that she\u2019s divorced, Halaby starts to second guess her definition of love:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 80px;\">what if<br \/>\nall those years of wanting<br \/>\nunfulfillable longing<br \/>\ntrying to do the right thing<br \/>\ntranslates<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 80px;\">not<br \/>\ninto love<br \/>\nbut into a tsunami of something else?<\/p>\n<p>This, perhaps, is the central question of the book. What does it mean to want love, to want to be loved? Of one lover, she writes:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 80px;\">on my right side<br \/>\nspanning from hip to breast<br \/>\nis the clear indentation<br \/>\nof your hand<br \/>\nthat held me<br \/>\ncaressed me<br \/>\nbrought me out of an anguished stupor<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 80px;\">I place my hand over yours<br \/>\nclose my eyes<br \/>\nand squeeze<br \/>\nuntil the longing recedes<br \/>\njust a bit<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_7041\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-7041\" style=\"width: 400px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-7041\" src=\"https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldsite\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Laila-Halaby.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldsite\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Laila-Halaby.jpg 400w, https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldsite\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Laila-Halaby-100x100.jpg 100w, https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldsite\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Laila-Halaby-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldsite\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Laila-Halaby-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-7041\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lailahalaby.net\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Laila Halaby<\/a> speaks four languages, won a Fulbright scholarship to study folklore in Jordan, and holds a master\u2019s degree in Arabic literature. Her first novel, <em>West of the Jordan<\/em>, won the prestigious PEN Beyond Margins Award. She lives in Tucson, Arizona.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Born in Lebanon to a Jordanian father and American mother, Halaby explained her identity this way in an <a href=\"https:\/\/americanwritersmuseum.org\/my-america-laila-halaby\/\">interview<\/a> with the American Writers Museum: \u201cMy father always lived in Jordan, my mother always lived in the States, so I\u2019ve never felt like I\u2019m Arab-American. I feel like I\u2019m Arab and I feel like I\u2019m American, but the hyphen is lost on me. Even though I feel like the hyphen is also where I live.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In this collection, Halaby puts her Arabness on the page, but without the expected trappings of metaphorical language, food imagery, or very much transliterated Arabic. Arab is simply who she is. In \u201cOther,\u201d for example, Halaby explicitly links her experience of being racially othered in America to being lied to in love and unwittingly becoming the \u201cother woman.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 480px;\">lifetime<br \/>\nspent<br \/>\nchecking that damn box<br \/>\nother race<br \/>\nother ethnicity<br \/>\nproduct of<br \/>\nthe other<br \/>\nwoman<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 480px;\">fought<br \/>\nto be whole<br \/>\ncomplete<br \/>\nno marginal<br \/>\nshamefulness<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 480px;\">only to become one<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 480px;\">a lifetime<br \/>\nof resistance<br \/>\nleads to this?<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 480px;\"><em>other woman<br \/>\n<\/em>will not do<\/p>\n<p>A comment on the ludicrousness of online dating and the weird ways potential lovers present themselves, the title <em>Why an Author Writes to a Guy Holding a Fish<\/em> also brings to mind the famous quote coined by Irina Dunn and popularized by Gloria Steinem: \u201cA woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.\u201d The guy holding the fish will, presumably, soon hold Halaby, and let her go. He\u2019s the bicycle she wants to ride into the sunset, but instead, she\u2019s left standing on her own two feet.<\/p>\n<p><em>Why an Author Writes to a Guy Holding a Fish<\/em> ends with an epilogue written in spring 2021, one more tale of dating gone wrong. First, there\u2019s a potential setup by her physical therapist, with a great guy who happens to be a Trump supporter. Halaby declines, instead meeting up with a man she connects with on a dating app, someone she clicks with and who encourages her when she mentions, while they are \u201chuddled together\u201d on her computer, the poems about her breakup.<\/p>\n<p>He ends up ghosting her. Of course. His silence becomes the impetus for her to move on and push forward.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 80px;\">I delete my profile<br \/>\nsubmit <em>why an author writes to a guy holding a fish<br \/>\n<\/em>change jobs<br \/>\nvisit Houri<br \/>\nand write<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 80px;\">another poem<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 160px;\">and another<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 240px;\">and another<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a meta satisfying ending to a writer\u2019s story, one that suggests a new beginning, another work under way.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Eman Quotah reviews the new poetry collection by Jordanian Palestinian American author Laila Halaby.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":9904,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,51],"tags":[200,960,1291,1367],"coauthors":[1938],"class_list":["post-9902","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-book-review","category-tmr-weekly","tag-arab-american","tag-jordanian","tag-palestinian","tag-poetry","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.8 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - 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