{"id":31152,"date":"2024-02-04T11:24:40","date_gmt":"2024-02-04T09:24:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldsite\/?p=31152"},"modified":"2024-05-22T18:08:55","modified_gmt":"2024-05-22T16:08:55","slug":"four-poems-by-alaa-hasanin-from-the-love-that-doubles-loneliness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldsite\/four-poems-by-alaa-hasanin-from-the-love-that-doubles-loneliness\/","title":{"rendered":"Four Poems by Alaa Hassanien from The Love That Doubles Loneliness<\/em>"},"content":{"rendered":"
Every day settings, the predictability of the body and the ancient, raw emotions of modern romance are conveyed in Alaa Hassanien\u2019s Arabic collection, <\/span>The Love That Doubles Loneliness.<\/span><\/i><\/h5>\n

 <\/p>\n

Alaa Hassanien<\/h4>\n

Translated from the Arabic by Salma Moustafa Khalil<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It\u2019s Just Blood<\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Somehow
\n<\/span>This blood on white tissues
\n<\/span>Blood that flowed amply between my thighs
\n<\/span>Forming stains on the tiles;
\n<\/span>It was meant to be a child.<\/span><\/p>\n

I told myself: It\u2019s Just Blood
\n<\/span>A simple thing,
\n<\/span>Like a paper cut.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I imagined a child with thick brows
\n<\/span>Emerging from a spot on the tiles
\n<\/span>and stumbling into the hallway.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think about the world
\n<\/span>And I don\u2019t care for children
\n<\/span>When they laugh loudly
\n<\/span>I wish they\u2019d be quiet
\n<\/span>When they roam around asking for money
\n<\/span>I wish they\u2019d go away
\n<\/span>And I\u2019d finally stopped seeing myself
\n<\/span>In every depressed child.<\/span><\/p>\n

I drank up many years
\n<\/span>To quickly escape my childhood
\n<\/span>I drank almost daily
\n<\/span>So that I can laugh
\n<\/span>I welcomed the hand asking for a dance
\n<\/span>For love is beautiful
\n<\/span>And happy
\n<\/span>Love is a child.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I closed my eyes
\n<\/span>And with a rolled banknote
\n<\/span>Inhaled white dust \u2026
\n<\/span>Then was silent for a whole night
\n<\/span>Simply breathing
\n<\/span>Made me euphoric.<\/span><\/p>\n

I knew about the child inside me
\n<\/span>But thought,
\n<\/span>As I drank the wine straight from the bottle:
\n<\/span>I want him dead.<\/span><\/p>\n

The next morning
\n<\/span>I swallowed a smuggled pill on the metro
\n<\/span>And thought: He\u2019ll die on the street
\n<\/span>He\u2019ll be a dead child, a beautiful child.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I smoked a full pack of cigarettes
\n<\/span>And when I started feeling ill
\n<\/span>My friends said I was depressing them.
\n<\/span>I apologized quickly and spent two hours in the public bathroom.
\n<\/span>The blood might never stop.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My child flowed, blood, drugs, alcohol and nicotine
\n<\/span>I know I didn\u2019t feel a thing
\n<\/span>And hardly suffered \u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

But I thought
\n<\/span>As I washed the blood off the tiles
\n<\/span>That he would\u2019ve been a human
\n<\/span>And that I carry inside my body
\n<\/span>A chest full of children
\n<\/span>Children with thick brows
\n<\/span>And colored eyes
\n<\/span>And dark skin.<\/span><\/p>\n

I went out and roamed<\/span> in the midst of cars
\n<\/span>The world outside me is beyond me
\n<\/span>The world inside me is beyond me.<\/span><\/p>\n

My friends came to pull me away
\n<\/span>They said I\u2019m depressing myself
\n<\/span>As I dug my hand into my coat pocket
\n<\/span>A child in a plastic bag.<\/span><\/p>\n

They also said life is beautiful
\n<\/span>And I am young
\n<\/span>Someone mumbled about a good therapist
\n<\/span>And held my arm\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As I cried
\n<\/span>Digging my other hand into my pocket
\n<\/span>Shaking the hand of a tiny child
\n<\/span>I made up my mind, he would come dead.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

Being a poet?
\nIt\u2019s something you talk about
\nin the same way that you describe your disorder \u2014Alaa Hassanien<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

Awaiting A Cloud<\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Every few minutes
\n<\/span>The waiter asks me
\n<\/span>If I\u2019m waiting for someone
\n<\/span>I say: Yes.
\n<\/span>He takes his hands off the chair
\n<\/span>and leaves\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Before I can explain
\n<\/span>That I await a cloud
\n<\/span>Or a giant drop of water
\n<\/span>A purple fox
\n<\/span>Or the autumn of the year 2020.<\/span><\/p>\n

He leaves
\n<\/span>Before I can tell him:
\n<\/span>Give the chair to whoever needs it
\n<\/span>For the cloud can sit anywhere
\n<\/span>And the fox can rest in my arms
\n<\/span>Or at my feet
\n<\/span>The giant drop
\n<\/span>Can land right on my head
\n<\/span>And hide me from this crowd
\n<\/span>It can melt
\n<\/span>And I with it
\n<\/span>In plain sight
\n<\/span>And no one would notice.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n