{"id":36819,"date":"2025-05-02T11:16:30","date_gmt":"2025-05-02T09:16:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldmarkaz\/?p=36819"},"modified":"2025-05-02T11:16:30","modified_gmt":"2025-05-02T09:16:30","slug":"neither-here-nor-there","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldmarkaz\/neither-here-nor-there\/","title":{"rendered":"Neither Here Nor There"},"content":{"rendered":"
A hybrid essay, accompanied by stills from the artist’s recent works (Kaddish<\/em>,\u00a0One Drop + One Drop<\/em>, and\u00a0Shetah Esh<\/em>), considers the permutations of home and returning.<\/h5>\n

 <\/p>\n

My father always says,
\n<\/span>\u201cYou can\u2019t build on ruins. You need a clean slate.\u201d
\n<\/span>We\u2019ve had so many of those in the last hundred years. We never really managed to finish the walls.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/h5>\n

 <\/p>\n

Myriam Cohenca<\/span><\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

In theory, <\/b>in theory<\/i><\/b>, I know where home is.<\/b><\/p>\n

It used to be Jaffa. Then Safed and Haifa.
\n<\/span>Then nowhere (and everywhere) at the same time.
\n<\/span>It became a pink building with purple shutters. A bougainvillea so wild it spills fluorescent flowers across the terrace all year long.
\n<\/span>It looks like home. But it isn\u2019t.
\n<\/span>We\u2019ve been moving for at least three generations before me.
\n<\/span>Home has always been moving. <\/span>And whether we wanted to or not, we always came back.<\/span><\/p>\n

But never exactly to where we came from.<\/span>
\n<\/span>And never, never to what we had.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Never to who we were, or who we had become.<\/span><\/p>\n

What if my father had taught me Arabic?<\/span>
\n<\/span>What if we\u2019d kept the houses in Egypt?<\/span>
\n<\/span>What if my family had been able to tell their stories?<\/span>
\n<\/span>What if they didn\u2019t leave Palestine in the 1920s?<\/span><\/p>\n

\"ReturningHome_MyriamCohenca<\/a><\/p>\n

There\u2019s the sea in my name.
\n<\/span>I belong to the water, and it belongs to me.
\n<\/span>When land is taken, water is the only thing left that can\u2019t be owned,
\n<\/span>no matter what they tell themselves.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Once, a kabbalist rabbi told me my obsession with the sea made sense.
\n<\/span>He said it was my destiny.
\n<\/span>Yam<\/span>.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

A few days ago, I dreamt the sea was on fire.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t even wonder what would\u2019ve happened if we hadn\u2019t been displaced.<\/span>
\n<\/span>That story is carved too deep.<\/span>
\n<\/span>It\u2019s not a fantasy I\u2019m allowed to have. In no parallel universe did we stay home, I\u2019m sure of it.
\n<\/span>To exist in a society, or even a world, that doesn\u2019t acknowledge the possibility of you eventually makes you an anomaly. A bug in the system.
\n<\/span>We became the corrupted file. Too many hands. Too many rewrites.<\/span><\/p>\n

And yet, the thing about humans is, no matter how many times you try to erase their stories, they find ways to survive.
\n<\/span>They hide inside language.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Inside objects. Inside rituals, gestures, the body. They pass themselves on.
\n<\/span>Somewhere in the need to survive, we became transmission.<\/span>
\n<\/span>In the refusal to disappear, we became <\/span>the <\/span><\/i>memory.
\n<\/span>More like pieces of memory.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Partial. Corrupted. Silences to be deciphered. Stories that were maybe in \u201944, or perhaps in \u201945,<\/span> I can\u2019t tell anymore<\/span><\/i>.
\n<\/span>Lost addresses.
\n<\/span>What would we even do with a key?<\/p>\n

To return, you need to know where you came from. And to know where you came from, you need to know who you came from. Not just know it, acknowledge it.<\/span>
\n<\/span>And that\u2019s terrifying.
\n<\/span>Because it\u2019s like discarding the old hard drive, plugging in a new one, and starting from scratch. No inherited narrative. No map. No guidance.
\n<\/span>Zionism gave a kind of guidance. Like a mad editor, tearing apart the original story and replacing it with an instruction manual on how to be a Jew.
\n<\/span>Pick your side. Arab or Jew. Israeli or Palestinian. Community or enemy. Us or them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"ReturningHome_MyriamCohenca<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cIf I am because I am I, and you are because you are you, then I am I and you are you. But if I am I because you are you and you are you because I am I, then I am not I and you are not you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014Menachem Mendel de Kotzk<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Kaddish,<\/a>
Kaddish, part II of Kaddish, 2025.Video installation, 0’48.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My identity isn\u2019t built on flags,
\n<\/span>or fire,
\n<\/span>or the sound of explosions and metal.
\n<\/span>It\u2019s made of dates, of grapes,
\n<\/span>of olives and pomegranates that stain,
\n<\/span>and figs that split open,
\n<\/span>just because the sun asked them to.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\"ReturningHome_MyriamCohenca<\/p>\n

My father always says,<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t build on ruins. You need a clean slate.\u201d
\n<\/span>We\u2019ve had so many of those in the last hundred years. We never really managed to finish the walls.
\n<\/span>Always a new page, a new beginning.
\n<\/span>And always back to square one.
\n<\/span>Except when I say square one, I mean square minus one hundred because the ruins are accumulating and we can\u2019t keep up.<\/span><\/p>\n

We\u2019ll never return home. But we carry it within.
\n<\/span>And I will keep excavating the foundations, centimeter by centimeter,
\n<\/span>so that we can be us because we are us,
\n<\/span>and not us because they are they.
\n<\/span>This time, the blueprint is ours.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"ReturningHome_MyriamCohenca<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Envisioning innovative new futures that challenge conventional thinking and inspire transformative 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