{"id":36813,"date":"2025-05-02T11:16:29","date_gmt":"2025-05-02T09:16:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldmarkaz\/?p=36813"},"modified":"2025-05-02T11:16:29","modified_gmt":"2025-05-02T09:16:29","slug":"leaving-abdoh-finding-chamran","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldmarkaz\/leaving-abdoh-finding-chamran\/","title":{"rendered":"Leaving Abdoh, Finding Chamran"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And why had I come back? Because I had never imagined I wouldn\u2019t. I wanted to reclaim that land and also find out what kind of a people it takes to make disinformation and denunciation a national pastime.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Salar Abdoh<\/span><\/h4>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the Spring of 1990, I paid over a thousand dollars in extra charges at San Francisco airport to move eleven large boxes of books and two suitcases to Tehran. In the back of my mind was an old photo of my father \u2014 one of many \u2014 that the hideous fly-by-night papers of the revolution had printed about him eleven years earlier, this time accusing him of the murder of Takhti, Iran\u2019s legendary wrestler, an Olympic champion and a man staunchly opposed to the effete regime of the Shah. When Takhti committed suicide in 1968, all of Iran went into mourning. He was bigger than life, and in death he became a myth. Therefore, to be accused of having had a hand in his death was not unlike being accused of killing \u2014 take your pick: Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Jesus Christ.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The grief from this lie would soon kill my old man, who had dedicated his entire life to professional sports and, expressly, to sportspeople like Takhti, who had in fact been his friend.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Which is to say the chip on my shoulder going back home had the weight of a man accused. Iran was just coming out of eight years of fierce war with Iraq. During that first week back home, my sister, who had remained in Tehran, took me to a restaurant. The napkins were cutout pieces of paper and when I asked for mustard the waiter simply laughed. I had come back to a country that was still reeling.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And why had I come back? Because I had never imagined I wouldn\u2019t. I wanted to reclaim that land and also find out what kind of a people it takes to make disinformation and denunciation a national pastime.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before a month had passed, I found myself \u2014 fresh out of Berkeley, California and sporting a Fidel Castro beard \u2014 sitting inside the four walls of a \u201cbusiness\u201d firm, day after day, for hours on end rolling a string of prayer beads in my hand and saying little to the other young men, who sat there doing the same thing. I was mirroring them because I didn\u2019t know what else to do. These brothers all were veterans of the recent war. Believers. They did not fail their prayers. And every day at 1 pm, the Iranian national meat stew of office life, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Abgoosht<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, was served.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The firm was run by various former commanders of the Revolutionary Guards, now switching masks. It was the post-war reconstruction period and money was to be made. Reconstruction to these guys meant quick profits via imports. Language was needed for that. I was their English language hire.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At 25, I didn\u2019t yet know how to formulate the question: <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When did you sell out?<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> All of these young men, these vets, had gone to the war believing the cause. They had been volunteers, not conscripts. I admit that back then I\u2019d envied them for that. But now they seemed like counterfeits and were about to sell out or had already started. In time they would become enormously wealthy merchants. Some would go into government, and all of them would end up pillaging the country they\u2019d fought for in one way or another for decades to come. But back then, in that office, they were still coy and feeling their way. Shame had not completely left them. You could see it in the way they grinned at one another; it wasn\u2019t a grin that came from cynicism, but from a place of childhood \u2014 like a kid caught stealing chocolate from the pantry.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In another decade they would be sharks. Every last one of them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before long, Tehran was mine. I left the tedious office, bought myself a motorcycle, and moved to the heart center of the city, near the main arteries of Valiasr and Mottahari, where I got a job at a scholastic publishing house, and would buy my bananas \u2014 a luxury back then \u2014 from a tough Azeri Turk hustler around the corner who always swindled me a little bit with a smile, and I always let him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The revolution had taken from us everything we had. My family was not unique in that way; it was just that ours was of a scale to be embarrassing. My old man had created a football team, Persepolis, whose fans were rabid and legion. When Persepolis won, hundreds of thousands would pour out into the streets to celebrate, especially if that win was against their prime rival, Taj, which had the backing of the crown. To support Persepolis\u2019 enterprise, my old man had also built Iran\u2019s (perhaps the entire Middle East\u2019s) first mega-sports center, a five-story giant of a place that also brought many firsts to the Iran of the late 1960\u2019s and early 1970\u2019s \u2014 a bowling alley, a roller-skating rink, go-carts, pool hall, pinball machines, hot dogs, a giant swimming pool and saunas, and a theatre that only showed American movies. Naturally, the place was a steady hangout for Americans and their families, most of whom worked for military contractors who had begun reaping billions from the Shah\u2019s obscene fascination for senseless military hardware after the price of oil had exploded worldwide.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The sports center had been my second home throughout childhood, where I spent every day after school at karate practice. Membership was not required from most Westerners, particularly Americans. They had money. But Iranians had to pay for a membership card, which meant you couldn\u2019t be poor and go there. None of the hundreds of people who worked the restaurants and gyms and ice cream stalls and the sprawling banquet hall on the top floor could ever dream of bringing their children to \u201cAbdoh Bowling.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On returning home, I\u2019d deliberately chosen to live far from the northern part of the city where Abdoh Bowling was located. North meant wealth. It meant a time that I didn\u2019t necessarily want to forget, but had no intention of getting nostalgic for either. What was gone was gone. That sports center belonged to one of the many larcenous revolutionary foundations now. And this particular foundation was corrupt to the bone, but at least it left the doors of the recreation facility open, so I heard, to all Iranians \u2014 no membership was required anymore.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What took me to the sports center, at last, was more curiosity than a friend\u2019s suggestion that we go there to rent an hour of time at the squash courts. I thought: <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">why not?<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> If the past was really past, I should be able to go back to the formative edifice of my childhood and play a game of squash without, for god\u2019s sakes, breaking down and bawling.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And so I did.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The place appeared as a ghost of what it had once been, its elegance replaced with the sort of kitsch that was especially memorialized by a 20-foot high bowling pin standing by the side of the road on Shariati Avenue like a lost ogre. It had a new name too. Chamran.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Chamran Sports Complex.<\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<figure id=\"attachment_36876\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-36876\" style=\"width: 1000px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/chamrancomplex.ir\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-36876\" src=\"https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldmarkaz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/Abdoh-now-Chamran-Sporting-Complex-Tehran-courtesy-chamrancomplex.ir_.jpg\" alt=\"Abdoh now Chamran Sporting Complex Tehran courtesy chamrancomplex.ir\" width=\"1000\" height=\"899\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldmarkaz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/Abdoh-now-Chamran-Sporting-Complex-Tehran-courtesy-chamrancomplex.ir_.jpg 1280w, https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldmarkaz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/Abdoh-now-Chamran-Sporting-Complex-Tehran-courtesy-chamrancomplex.ir_-600x540.jpg 600w, https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldmarkaz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/Abdoh-now-Chamran-Sporting-Complex-Tehran-courtesy-chamrancomplex.ir_-300x270.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldmarkaz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/Abdoh-now-Chamran-Sporting-Complex-Tehran-courtesy-chamrancomplex.ir_-1024x921.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/themarkaz.org\/oldmarkaz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/Abdoh-now-Chamran-Sporting-Complex-Tehran-courtesy-chamrancomplex.ir_-768x691.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-36876\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Abdoh now Chamran Sporting Complex Tehran \u2014courtesy chamrancomplex.ir<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<hr \/>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who was Chamran? I\u2019d vaguely heard of the name. Now he had come and taken over the jewel in the crown of everything my father had toiled for.<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mostafa Chamran, I came to gradually find out, was an enigma. An Iranian physicist with a PhD from U.C. Berkeley \u2014 my own alma mater \u2014 he\u2019d given up enviable positions at Bell Laboratories and NASA to return to the Middle East to undergo guerilla training and eventually took up arms during the civil war in Lebanon, where he was also instrumental in helping the fabled Shia cleric, Imam Musa Sadr, in the creation of the Amal militia. In Lebanon he became a hero to some and an arch-enemy to others. The Iranian revolution brought him home \u2014 with Ghada, his Lebanese wife and the love of his life. There, before his \u201cmartyrdom\u201d in 1981 during the Iran-Iraq war, he had already begun to turn into a myth \u2014 not unlike Takhti 13 years before him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cChe,\u201d I began to suspect with grudging respect, was the commander par excellence. And a man of honor \u2014 someone who fought alongside his beliefs until the very end.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Over the years I ended up spending quite a bit of time reading about this man. I passed by innumerable hospitals and highways and universities continuing to be named after him in just about every town in Iran. More than once I pictured the moment Ghada describes when she ran after him \u201clike a madwoman,\u201d determined to shoot her husband in the foot so he wouldn\u2019t go to his death.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Che did go to his death. He knew he was going to his death. Had told her so.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In a dream that Ghada also describes, Che came back to her on a wheelchair telling her he\u2019d heard that a statue was being made in his honor. \u201cTell them not to do that!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Did such a man need one more building named after him?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Che entered my own dreams too. More than once. We are never friends in these encounters. But neither are we enemies. He has always been just a face. Those thick glasses that he wore. His spectacularly bald pate. And a gaze that usually tells me I should not be wasting a moment more of my life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019ve always compared him to those other men of the revolution. Would he too have sold out eventually, like the ones I worked for when I first returned to Tehran?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think not.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cHe was an honest man,\u201d a Christian passport officer one time told Ghada when he checked her passport in Beirut. Che had somehow made sure she carried his last name on her passport \u2014 Chamran, not Jaber. \u201cHe was our enemy. He fought against us. Still, he was an honest man.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At the booth for the squash court rentals, I decided to give my real family name. I had been hesitant. But the name jumped at me. Maybe I wanted to hear myself say it loud and clear in that place, maybe it was a way of retort to the new designation this place was burdened with, or maybe it was a grand fuck-you to the entire revolution and more: to all of Persian history with its flood of treachery and bad faith. I was certain that a lot of the people who still worked here from the old days must have celebrated their revolution, thinking they would be the new inheritors of the sports complex.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not so. Rather than inheriting anything, their lives had only turned from manageable to impossible \u2014 because, after all, what can you expect from a revolution that replaces one ruling class for another and then throws at you eight years of a war that kills not ten thousand or a hundred thousand but, depending on estimates, upward of half a million to two million dead? How do you even address such numbers? How do you take them to bed with you every night and wake up to go do your shift at the Abdoh\/Chamran Bowling Alley the next morning?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No hard feelings, I tried to convince myself. Maybe I would have done the same thing if I were those workers, sharpened my knife and waited for my opportunity \u2014 an opportunity that never came, not for people like them, without backers or connections.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Half an hour later my friend and I were on one of the squash courts. I\u2019d played in these courts with my old man what seemed like a thousand years ago and he\u2019d kicked my ass handily. I\u2019d only been twelve years old back then. Now I was kicking my friend\u2019s ass, a tall and gangly architect who had spent the first few years of the revolution as a diehard junkie and was now pugnaciously on the rebound.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At some point, about to serve the ball, I looked up and saw that a crowd had gathered above us in the spectator area. Not just one or two people, but at least a dozen, all of whom worked at the sports complex. My knees buckled. Some of these people I remembered well. They had grown old, even if they weren\u2019t really old. Their faces were not filled with hope, but with something else, something ineffable. An heir of their former boss had returned, and if such a homecoming was still possible, then maybe the hands of time could be turned back fully; maybe the revolution and the war could be made as if they had never happened.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I could not play anymore. I put the racket down, and so did my friend, who was exhausted from all those corner shots and volleys that his abused body couldn\u2019t catch up to.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A woman cried out, \u201cMr. Abdoh, please!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Please what?<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWhen will you come to take our lives back?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then she broke down sobbing up there above me in that gallery. Others tried to console her, but then more of them broke down too.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I felt inadequate to the occasion. This wasn\u2019t my thing. I hadn\u2019t come here to rescue anybody. I wished I had, though. I wished I had the strength and ambition for it. But history was bigger than all of us. A train that waited on no one.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I also wished I hadn\u2019t given my name at that ticket booth.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead, I made a lot of promises that day. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes, I\u2019ll get this place back. Yes, I\u2019ll get Persepolis back. Yes, we\u2019ll be one big happy family again, all of us.<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All lies. Said only so I could get out of there and go nurse my insufficiency and failure as best I could. Sometimes returning home is just a first step toward fantasy. I couldn\u2019t even get some goddamn mustard at a restaurant around here.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To this day, whenever someone refers to the sports complex, they never call it Chamran; they call it Abdoh. Even in Iranian movies and cartoons, I\u2019ve heard the place referred to by my family name. It is a building that has become a part of the cultural imagination. Part of a past that suggests success, a golden age that never was.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I call the place nothing. I have not gone by there in years. If I were to call it anything, it might be something that allows me as much distance as possible. Maybe Chamran.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Salar Abdoh reflects on returning to Iran, burdened by injustice and a desire to reconnect with a culture that has normalized 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